SHAZBOT

2008-06-26T19:11:00.002Z

in heaven, everything is fine
in heaven, everything is fine
you've got your good things
and you've got mine

Schedules of Reinforcement (a rough draft)

2008-03-29T04:02:00.003Z

I am the bitter and twisted shell of a man, freshly insulted, with a seething anger rebelling against a world of deceit and senseless suffering. This is my rant.

Damn, this is harder to write than I imagined.

So much to say.

Where to begin?

[0]life
It's ephemeral. Its subtleties Fuck, I'm losing perspective.

OK

This regards heterosexual relationships. Hetero because one, that's what I know, and two, I have a suspicion that gay relationships don't tend to suffer from the malady I wish to expound upon.

The Insult:

I'll start by saying that personal insults don't bother me. I kinda like them, especially if they're funny. Keeps me humble. This insult went beyond me. It's an insidious insult, its colors are cloaked in crimson shrouds of red herrings. In the vernacular, the characters are thus: the nice guy, and the asshole. These names are meaningless until we distill their true form. A nice guy is Easy, the asshole is a Challenge. The semantic in me must forget the former titles in exchange for the new, for the formers are a deceit meant to cloud rational thought.

Easy v. Challenging

Oh, Oh... Sounds like a game! I like games!

Wait.

I am not a fucking game.

I am a living, human being.

Vending machine, slot machine... Fuck you for comparing me to either.

I am not a commodity to be traded, not a stock to be invested in, and certainly not a trophy, collecting dust on a forgotten shelf in the basement.

Life is the only game. The antagonists are tough and many, and I'm playing co-op. I am but an amalgam of pieces playing, hoping there is someone with to share, deeply, this short ride to oblivion.

College

2008-03-22T06:14:00.002Z

An advert on MySpace asks, "Think You are Too Busy to Get Another Degree?"

Education Inflation.

Yes, I'll buy another degree in, err, bending over?

Maybe a minor in sucking cock?

Oh, Suebi

2008-03-21T23:47:00.005Z

As read in Albert Camus' The Rebel:

And openly I pledged my
heart to the grave and suf-
fering land, and often in the
consecrated night, I promised
to love her faithfully until
death, unafraid, with her
heavy burden of fatality, and
never to despise a single one
of her enigmas. Thus did I
join myself to her with a
mortal cord.

Hölderlin:
The Death of Empedocles

I need that, in the original German.
I know it's incomplete, I don't care.

Fatal Eight

2008-01-05T03:54:00.000Z

I'm not going to make any predictions for 2008. Not yet, at least. And maybe I shouldn't... I was quite too right for 2000 and 2004.

Q and A

2007-10-26T01:34:00.000Z

The following are a few questions which I'm frequently asked and tire from answering. My responses aren't usually said aloud, but I aim to be less sheepish.

|Q| Are you straight or gay?
|A| Do you wanna fuck?

|Q| Why don't you eat meat?
|A| Because I'm better than you.

|Q| What do you eat?
|A| CHONPS, mostly.

Ahmadinejad, FTW.

2007-10-02T04:49:00.000Z

I get the impression that Mahmoud could kick my ass in a game of Risk. Actually, I can't ever remember winning a game of Risk.

Fuck it.

My point is this:
If the United States of America attacks Iran, I'm outta here.

Then, just like the '60s, we won't get very far.

Ayn Rand

2007-09-29T18:13:00.000Z

It only takes one twit in an orgy to give everyone syphilis.

"Well, she said it was good for us--makes the sex sexier. Who are we to argue against sexier sex?"

Naomi Klein makes me so very happy.

Privacy

2007-09-28T06:13:00.000Z

Concealment of what is said or done.

Thanks, Billy. That's a beautiful definition, let's break it down.

Things said and done are finished. They happened. They exist and are not subject to cosmic erasure. To conceal is intentional and premeditated. Concealment is not a granted right, it is not a default, it is not a given. It is a chore, and to expect it is to live in self-deceptive isolation.

Dear Trinity,

2007-09-14T01:54:00.000Z

Sometimes, on a slow news day, I'm reminded of how precariously close the world is to total and complete nuclear annihilation. I cry. I curse the neurosis that causes a beautiful mind to create such a profane weapon. But that's who we are. Human. It is an absurd thing.

Maybe we could've been friends, if only you weren't a bomb.

Hugs and Handshakes

2007-08-28T04:13:00.000Z

It seems to me that a decent hug is becoming rarer than a decent handshake. I'm not gonna break, put some heart into it. Whatever 'heart' is.
...I think I still have one.

When someone asks her what her boyfriend does, "Oh, he's an artist.", can be her reply.

Mika

2007-06-30T14:30:00.000Z

From The Guardian:

"Brzezinski's dismissal of Paris Hilton is shared by the majority of Americans."

But not the majority of TV watching Americans?

Jinx'd

2007-06-15T17:22:00.000Z

It's my first time sick-sick in more than a year. The antibiotics I got yesterday are finally taking effect. I would've preferred to just wait it out, but I need to get back to work.

Anyway... I went to see Melt-Banana last Tuesday in DC. They never disappoint. I'm digging their new pop edge. It's always been there, in the ether. Now it's blossoming into a beautiful, hell-fed flower of love. (Can we blame my fever on that?)

Oh yeah, the dingy is ready to sail, which it did on Wednesday (albeit jibless and purposefully underpowered)... because that was the only way to get it back to the dock with the 10 knot blow coming out of the east.

Waldheim was 88 and choked to death on the devil’s cock.

How High?

2007-06-09T06:35:00.000Z

Fuck the Marines.

I got machines that light the spliff and read Mad magazines.

I hope she's alright.

No Doubt

2007-06-07T02:36:00.000Z

Your data suggest a slight automatic preference for African American compared to European American.

From here.

In other news...

I have a bottle of gin. Let's have a toast for Cold War 2.0. Salut!

[P.S.] I am not looking forward to the next Presidential Election.

Gratitude

2007-06-05T04:25:00.000Z

I read this and realized I needed offer some thanks.

So, to the friends I met after High School, thank you for making it easier to get out of the church before things got too messy. And I thought getting out at 19, just before my mission to Mexico, was a bit late... Sheesh, at least I didn't marry one.

word ov thee day

2007-05-30T16:05:00.000Z

Masturbatory

Hey, I don't make this stuff up. This is the month of May, no?

Sources:
cracked.com
wonkette.com

Running

2007-05-22T18:09:00.000Z

I've been neglecting my running shoes for the past few months, so I'm setting a goal of at least ten miles a week for the next month. I ran two miles in sixteen minutes today, which is two minutes shy of my (slow) personal best. I miss the hills of Blacksburg, they made running interesting. I'm gonna drown that nostalgia in homemade pizza. Cheers.

Contrasting Tones

2007-05-16T03:28:00.000Z

Today I bought Joanna Newsom's The Milk-Eyed Mender.

I don't care what anyone else thinks, I like harps.

See him fashion a cap from a page of Camus;
see him navigate deftly this side of the blue.

On Tour

2007-05-12T06:15:00.000Z

June 12, 2007
Melt Banana
Washington DC BLACK CAT

I plan on being there. Anyone wanna ride shotgun?

Always Late

2007-04-29T17:32:00.000Z

My boat may not be the first in the water, but it's also not the first to pitch-pole. =) I hope it's righted by the time I go back downstairs. I don't have time to help... I'm running late for work.

Imitation...

2007-04-29T05:30:00.000Z

It's the lowest form of shame.

What do Neon Genesis Evangelion and Eureka 7 have in common? They're both great until the end. Trance and neon hearts... What the fuck?!

Garage Doors and Chainsaws

2007-04-19T16:30:00.000Z

I live in the room over the garage. In the [f?]ROG. It certainly has its perks, but at what cost?...

[0500] The door leading from the utility/laundry hall into the garage is quietly opened and then slammed shut, causing the walls in the immediate vicinity to shutter with contempt. Seconds later the electronic garage door actuator is activated, the door moans in it's tracks, the ceiling above trembles with anxiety. Shortly after, the door closes in a similar manner.

[0630] The above process repeats, but this time the slamming happens last, and is usually louder (it is harder to close from the inside).

This series of events has happened every school morning since my dad made room in the garage to fit a car. This morning at 0930 there was the addition of a chainsaw. I understand that 2-cycle engines can make a lot of power for their size, but there has got to be a way to make those things quieter. Lawnmowers and weed trimmers also.

FTL

2007-04-17T04:22:00.000Z

And poured we libations unto each the dead...

-Ezra Pound

I think I'm not very good at handling the death of others, at least not in a traditional sense. I lack a vocabulary for uttering any but the most mundane words of comfort. And my eyes lack the tears. I try to put myself in the shoes of a witness: what if I was one of four people in a class of twenty-five who wasn't shot? What would that do to me? Miss Sheehan is one of those four. She dressed up as a stewardess from Snakes On A Plane for Halloween. I helped cock-block for her at that party, but never met her. Here I am, relieved that she fained death to live, but how selfish of me. Twenty-one of her classmates are shot. What do you say to that? "Here, read some Camus."?

P.S. Dr. Phil can go fuck himself.

P.P.S. Design matters. Guns are designed to kill people. And their design has been refined over hundreds of years. Even dumb dogs know this. Well designed objects influence their own use.

Also... Erin Sheehan is my hero.

Hey, that's my line.

2007-04-08T05:02:00.000Z

No, really. It's a nice metaphor.

Describe yourself in three words.
-Snow in April.