Schedules of Reinforcement (a rough draft)

I am the bitter and twisted shell of a man, freshly insulted, with a seething anger rebelling against a world of deceit and senseless suffering. This is my rant.

Damn, this is harder to write than I imagined.

So much to say.

Where to begin?

[0]life
It's ephemeral. Its subtleties Fuck, I'm losing perspective.

OK

This regards heterosexual relationships. Hetero because one, that's what I know, and two, I have a suspicion that gay relationships don't tend to suffer from the malady I wish to expound upon.

The Insult:

I'll start by saying that personal insults don't bother me. I kinda like them, especially if they're funny. Keeps me humble. This insult went beyond me. It's an insidious insult, its colors are cloaked in crimson shrouds of red herrings. In the vernacular, the characters are thus: the nice guy, and the asshole. These names are meaningless until we distill their true form. A nice guy is Easy, the asshole is a Challenge. The semantic in me must forget the former titles in exchange for the new, for the formers are a deceit meant to cloud rational thought.

Easy v. Challenging

Oh, Oh... Sounds like a game! I like games!

Wait.

I am not a fucking game.

I am a living, human being.

Vending machine, slot machine... Fuck you for comparing me to either.

I am not a commodity to be traded, not a stock to be invested in, and certainly not a trophy, collecting dust on a forgotten shelf in the basement.

Life is the only game. The antagonists are tough and many, and I'm playing co-op. I am but an amalgam of pieces playing, hoping there is someone with to share, deeply, this short ride to oblivion.

College

An advert on MySpace asks, "Think You are Too Busy to Get Another Degree?"

Education Inflation.

Yes, I'll buy another degree in, err, bending over?

Maybe a minor in sucking cock?

Oh, Suebi

As read in Albert Camus' The Rebel:

And openly I pledged my
heart to the grave and suf-
fering land, and often in the
consecrated night, I promised
to love her faithfully until
death, unafraid, with her
heavy burden of fatality, and
never to despise a single one
of her enigmas. Thus did I
join myself to her with a
mortal cord.

Hölderlin:
The Death of Empedocles

I need that, in the original German.
I know it's incomplete, I don't care.